


for it is a fool who suffers alone

by RepetRedun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Protective Karasuno Volleyball Club, Tsukishima Kei is a Little Shit, Tsukishima Kei-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:02:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28159470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RepetRedun/pseuds/RepetRedun
Summary: Tsukishima learned to depend on his team long ago. They need to trust each other to survive on the court.Off the court is an entirely different matter.Or: Tsukishima attracts some unwanted attention. His team takes offense.
Relationships: Tsukishima Akiteru & Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei & Karasuno Volleyball Club, Tsukishima Kei & Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 25
Kudos: 262





	1. Chapter 1

At first, it was only the little things.

A quick shove here, a threatening leer there. Tsukishima took note, but paid little attention. They just weren't worth his time.

He had bigger things to worry about, after all. Between the Spring High Qualifiers looming on the horizon, extra practice with his brother's team, and schoolwork showing no sign of slowing down, Kei was racing to keep up. Apparently, he had attracted some attention along the way.

This is how it starts:

He finds a note in his locker.

_The only reason you’re on the volleyball team is because you’re tall_

~~~

During practice, he can feel worried glances thrown his way every once in a while. Yamaguchi knows him better than anyone, can read the line of his mouth and the space between his brows like an open book. Nothing is said, however, much to his relief. The last thing he wants is Yamaguchi drawing the attention of the local volleyball idiots to Tsukishima's distraction.

They play a practice match with the neighborhood volleyball association. It's a blur of frustration, one-touches that don't connect and spikes that blast through reaching fingers.

Blocking is all he has. If he can’t even do that competently against the local alumni, how is he supposed to be of any use in the Spring Finals? 

Well, there’s a very good chance they lose either way. No one in their right mind expects Karasuno to defeat Shiratorizawa.  
But even so. He grits his teeth and prepares for the next spike.

~~~

_No one wants to spend time with you_

The next day, he comes to practice and prepares for the worst.  
In the back of his mind, he's still waiting. Waiting for Yamaguchi to realize he doesn't need Tsukishima, for the team to get tired of putting up with him, for the world to realize he is not as cool as he pretends to be.

But this time goes just like any other. Practice ends. The freak duo egg each other on in more and more ridiculous stunts as Yachi keeps a watchful eye on them, wringing her hands. Tanaka and Nishinoya follow Kiyoko-san around like lost ducklings. The third years huddle together, plotting their next move. Strategically positioned as far away from the chaos as possible, Ennoshita, Kinoshita and Narita chat and tidy up.

He knows that after he and Yamaguchi leave, all of them will stay for extra practice. In fact, he knows that Yamaguchi will be doing extra practice behind the market, while he goes and makes a fool of himself in front of his brother’s team.

Tsukishima never understood why they put so much into it. Better to hold back, wait, don't invest too much of yourself into it. Better to stay content on the outside than reach too far in and pay the price.  
And yet, after the shouting match with Yamaguchi at the training camp, after Bokuto-san's contagious enthusiasm, after seeing Kuroo’s solid excellence, he’s willing to give this pride thing a try. Maybe he's missing something.

~~

_No one really cares about you_

Tsukishima is a blocker. His job is to keep everyone out. It comes naturally to him, preventing attempts at getting through, whether by shutting them down immediately or robbing them of momentum. 

“Kei, are you doing okay? Is something bothering you?” Akiteru throws him a concerned glance. Tsukishima studies the darkened buildings around them, slipping his hands into his pockets. It had been a hard few practice games, and his little brother’s posture was drooping as he walked.

“I’m fine. Just need some sleep.”

Akiteru can see right through him. No matter how hard Kei tries to hide his emotions, Akiteru knows him too well to be fooled by any cheery facade or silent wall.  
Something was on his brother’s mind, and there’s no way he will be able to convince Kei to tell him until he’s chewed it over.

"Right. Well, if you ever want to talk about anything, I'll be around."

Kei nods without looking up.

~~~

On their way home, Yamaguchi breaks the silence.

"Tsukki, you’ve been quiet recently. And your face is all screwed up too, like you’re planning to murder someone.” His companion sports a serene half-smile, as if he doesn’t know exactly how much that comment will irritate Tsukishima.

Yamaguchi’s got everyone fooled. They take one look at his freckles and cowlick and oh-so-innocent expression and melt. No one understands what he has to deal with.

"Shut up, Yamaguchi."

~~~~

_You try to look so cool, but it won't hide how pathetic you really are_

Someone is watching him. Tsukishima turns and catches a glimpse of bleached blond hair. He vaguely recognizes one of the second-years known to hang out with the wrong crowd. So that's who it is, huh?

He can feel them waiting, gauging his reaction. But this is nothing.  
Tsukishima sees what they’re trying to do. Throw everything in the book at him to see what sticks.  
He used to do that himself, once. It’s too inefficient. Much better to zero in on the weakness first, and then attack. There’s nothing like seeing an elegant barb slip through the chink in his prey’s defenses on the first try.

Of course, their biggest mistake was picking a fight with him in the first place. He shows his teeth only when provoked, and they’ve certainly succeeded in doing exactly that.

“I expected better, Tanimoto-san.” He walks up to the second-year and flashes his best smirk. “I heard you’ve been lagging behind in your studies. If only you worked harder, instead of wasting time on jealousy. A bit pathetic, isn’t it?”  
The other boy steps back, red-faced and jaw clenched.  
“Shut up!” the second-year roared, “I’m gonna beat you to a pulp!”

Tsukishima knows he should walk away. This is a waste of his time and energy, and he needs to hurry up and change for practice. But he just can’t help himself. This quick-tempered, short-sighted fool is just asking for it. 

He takes a few steps forward and looms over the other boy.  
“You can try. But even if you succeed, beating me up won’t solve any of your problems. Don't waste my time.” With that, Tsukishima pivots on his heel and walks away. 

Once the second year steps of sight, the smirk slips from Kei's face. 

~~~

After a particularly brutal practice, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi step out into the moonlit courtyard. Comfortable silence envelops the pair as they make their way down the familiar path, broken only by their footsteps and breathing and the shouts echoing from the gym. 

This is one of Kei’s favorite moments in his day. A chance to relax and let his mind drift, free from responsibilities and loud teammates. His body relaxes in anticipation of the long, hot shower he plans to indulge in the minute he reaches home.

They enter the street just outside of school grounds, and are suddenly faced with a wall of five or six second years. 

Once he realizes who these boys were and why they were waiting for him, he yanks Yamaguchi behind him and raises his arms just in time to catch the first punch on his forearms. Yamaguchi squeaks and tries to get around him, ready to attack anyone who would dare lay a finger on his friend. 

"Get away from us!" He yells, raising his clenched fists. Tsukishima grabs his shoulder, and when their eyes meet he nods in the direction from which they came.  
"Yamaguchi, go away." Understanding the intention, his friend reluctantly turns around and runs in the direction of the gym. Two chase after him, but Yamaguchi has a good head start. He'll be fine.

"Looks like your little friend abandoned you," one boy with a mohawk sneers, "but don't worry, we'll be sure to take good care of you."

Tsukishima Kei would never admit it out loud, but he really does need backup right now. Akiteru might have shown him and Yamaguchi how to defend against bullies, but four of them was asking a bit much.  
But he doesn't need to win. He just needs to hold out until the others arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly done with this, so updates will be weekly :)
> 
> I needed more gen fic in my life. So I wrote some.
> 
> The third season of Haikyuu was the first season I watched, and Tsukishima quickly became my favorite. So much so that I had to write my first ever fanfic with him, after years of lurking. I hope my writing is enjoyable to read! Any criticism is appreciated.
> 
> Thank you very much for taking the time to read this!


	2. Chapter 2

If there’s one thing he excels in, it’s provoking idiots into losing their temper. How could he not, after all the free practice he gets with his teammates?

"I'm disappointed." Tsukishima shoots a smirk at Tanimoto and slips his hands into his pockets. "You've been working so hard to intimidate me, and this is the best you could come up with? This isn't scary at all. I thought I already told you not to waste my time?" He turns and steps away, throwing a dismissive wave over his shoulder. "See you later, I guess."

Another punch flies at his face. Kei turns his head to catch it on the edge of his cheekbone. His glasses are knocked off his face and skitter away down the pavement. One of the boys starts to edge around behind him, and Tsukishima backs up to keep them all in his field of vision.   
The dirty blond roars and tries to tackle Kei to the ground, but his oh-so-considerate verbal warning allows Tsukishima to sidestep the attempt. Unfortunately, he fails to sidestep the gut punch from another goon and doubles over, giving a fourth boy the chance to grab him around the waist and pin his arms to his sides.

Tanimoto stalks up to Kei and sneers in his face.  
“Did you think you could disrespect me like that and get away with it?” Tsukishima looks down, an ironic smile playing over his lips.

“My apologies, Tanimoto-san. I didn’t realize how fragile your ego is. Would you like me to talk about how amazing you are? Write an adoring letter, perhaps?” The second year’s face glows red and he releases an unintelligible snarl. He raises his hand to backhand Kei across the face. The force of it nearly knocks Tsukishima over, and he'd likely be sprawled on the ground were it not for the hands that generously supported him.

Cheek stinging, Kei heaves a sigh.  
“Could we hurry this up? I’ve got practice in the morning, and I still need to finish up some homework.”

Unfortunately, they don't seem very sympathetic to his situation.

After taking a few more hits to the face and abdomen, Kei manages to shake off the boy hugging him and elbows him in the nose. It may seem that Tsukishima is successfully holding them off, but he knows he can't win with force. He is so _tired_ , and there are more of them than of him.  
And so he blocks a few more punches and keeps backing up, leading them towards the school building, where he knew there were security cameras waiting for a show.

~~~

Tsukishima is a blocker.

Mind always going a mile a minute, thinking through possibilities and predictions for what will happen and how to respond. Taking in all the relevant information in and analyzing what he sees to understand how the people around him think and act, planning for the future of a game.

Tsukishima is jerked out of his racing thoughts when his back hits the school wall. He has no choice but to attack and keep them occupied until someone shows up. 

Or alternatively, until they get bored and leave, if no one does show up. He wouldn’t blame them for not wanting to get caught up in this mess.

Chin tucked and fists lifted, he ducks a punch and delivers one of his own. It connects with a satisfying crunch. One boy staggers away, cradling his nose. Kei has little time to celebrate as an elbow slams into his side. He continues to give as good as he gets, but it's painfully obvious that he's just prolonging the inevitable.

Despite everything, he doesn't want this to end with them beating the bullies to a pulp. Just scaring them off would be the best outcome. Then they could report this to the school and let the camera footage speak for itself. Having the whole team stand behind him would be most effective, but he knows that’s not realistic. Why would they, after all the grief he's given them the past few months?

Everyone would probably come out of curiosity, but he figures Asahi-san would be too nervous to get involved, most of the second-years too smart to. And Kageyama would die before defending Tsukishima. Kei was sure of that.

Tanaka and Nishinoya would rush in first, followed by Hinata. Daichi-san and Sugawara-san would be there as well, what with Daichi-san's inexplicable sense of responsibility for the whole team and Sugawara-san's terrifying true nature. And if nothing else, he could always trust Yamaguchi to have his back.

Well, he would work with what he got.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and comments, and most of all for taking the time to read this!
> 
> Merry Christmas and happy holidays!


	3. Chapter 3

Tsukishima is a blocker.

He might not be the strongest, or the most skilled. Other people worked harder and were more determined. They had the stamina and mental toughness to outlast him. He isn't the most naturally talented or athletic. There were always going to be opponents he couldn't beat.

But he doesn’t have to beat them. Not alone, at least. 

“GET AWAY FROM HIM!” 

Tsukishima looks up to see a herd of stampeding volleyball players. Leading the charge is a raging Tanaka, a sneer twisting his features into something truly terrifying. Nishinoya and Hinata trail in his wake, their voices impossibly big for their small stature.

“WE’RE GONNA DESTROY YOU!” Nishinoya bellows, Hinata's higher pitched "YEAH!" echoing the sentiment.

Tanimoto and his goons whirl at the sound of Tanaka's shout. They blanch and back away, as is wise when facing certain death. The only option left to them is to make a run for it. And they do. 

But before they can make it off school property, Ennoshita-san slides to a stop in front of them, followed by Kinoshita-san and Narita-san. Daichi-san materializes behind them and clears his throat.

"I hope you realize what a grave mistake you made." He snatches Tanaka and Nishinoya by the collar as they pass, one in each hand. "We won't beat you up, no matter how much these idiots want to. But you will tell us your names before we let you go." 

Sugawara-san and Asahi-san stand behind him, Sugawara-san restraining a snarling Hinata. Asahi-san's glare betrays no trace of his usual anxiety. Next to them stands a glowering Kageyama.

"As if we'd tell you anything." One says, his shaky tone undermining the bravado he attempts to project. Tsukishima scoffs. Clearly, they are too stupid to follow even their most basic self-preservation instincts. 

The entire team shifts, a murder of crows eager to begin mobbing. 

It's enough to make Tsukishima feel just a bit sorry for them. No one deserves this fate.

"Let them go." Everyone freezes and turns to stare at him. A smirk spreads across his face. "The security cameras should have recorded most of their faces. I know the names of the rest." They had gone to the same middle school as him, and he'd seen them around.

For a few moments, nobody says a word. Tsukishima wished he had a camera to capture all the wide-eyed, slack-jawed faces aimed in his direction.  
"Tsukki is right! I know their names too." Yamaguchi appears beside Kei and hands him his glasses.

All that can be heard is labored breathing, as his team struggles to formulate a response. It was moments like this that Kei was glad he didn't quit volleyball, because he would have missed out on such quality entertainment.  
"S-scary…" Hinata mutters, a shiver rattling down his entire form, "Tsukishima is scary."

"Well, you heard him." Daichi-san turns around to face the delinquents. "Get out of here. If you even think about messing with one of us again, we will hunt you down." The captain doesn't raise his voice, but it drips with biting menace.

"And don't think we'll let you go so easily next time." Similar to Daichi-san, Sugawara-san remains unruffled. And yet, there is a dangerous undercurrent to the words that even they can't miss.  
Tsukishima watches them slump away, heads hanging low and shoulders stiff. Once they’re out of sight, he can feel his whole team’s eyes on him.

"Tsukishima-kun, are you all right?" Kei turns to see Shimizu-senpai examining him with a critical eye. Yachi paces nearby, first-aid kit open and ready.

"I'm fine, Kiyoko-san." At her unimpressed look, he quirks a smile, "Just a busted lip and some bruises." 

Nishinoya rushes over and slaps him on the back.  
“Glad you’re okay!” He beams at Tsukki. “From the looks of them, you got some good hits in! You make your senpais proud!” 

Tanaka grabs Kei in a headlock and furiously rubs his head. Tsukishima looks at Yamaguchi, a silent plea for assistance. But his friend smiles back, mercilessly leaving him to his punishment.  
“Yeah, great job you little jerk! But leave some for me next time. I wanted to punch a few myself, damn it.” Sugawara-san watches the chaos and laughs.

Shimizu-senpai walks away and gestures for him to follow her.  
"Come back to the gym. We have extra cold packs for you." Grateful for the escape, he slips out of Tanaka’s grasp and heads back to the court.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! I hope your 2021 proves to be better than your 2020.
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this, and for all the kudos/comments/bookmarks <3


	4. Chapter 4

Tsukishima has never enjoyed being the center of attention.

Back in the gym, he's swarmed with teammates. Hands grasp at his shirt, ruffle his hair and pound his back. He is engulfed in a deluge of noise, question after question pounding him to the ground. He squeezes his eyes shut against the blinding lights and curls in on himself. This whole situation feels surreal, and kei begins to feels as if he's detatched, watching the whole thing from the outside.

Can't they just leave him alone?

"So, are you gonna tell us what happened?"  
"Who were they?"  
"Where can we find them?"  
"If someone punches me, will you help me apply bruise cream Kiyoko-san?"  
"Is it time to go grab a shovel?”

He holds an ice pack to his cheek and lets the noise wash over him. Yamaguchi, seeing his shuttered expression, pushes the twittering crowd back. 

“Back off!” He shouts. "Give him some space!!”   
A hush falls over the entire room. Seeing Yamaguchi's expression, Asahi-san yelps and ducks behind Nishinoya, who places his hand on his hips and laughs uproariously.

"It's fine." Tsukishima sets down the ice pack and heads over to his school bag. "I really do need to get home. I've got school work to finish."

Daichi-san holds out a hand to stop him.  
"Wait! Let a few of us come with you and Yamaguchi. Those guys might still be waiting outside to start something." 

No matter how much Tsukishima wants to go home and get this over with, Daichi-san is right. He nods in acknowledgement and waits for Sugawara-san and Daichi-san to collect their things, and then they head off into the night.

~~~

He appreciates the concern of his teammates. He really does.

But this is a bit much.

The next day, Yamaguchi sticks to his side like a band-aid. He can hardly go to the bathroom without his friend feeling the sudden need to stretch his legs and relieve himself as well. 

During every single break between classes, a different combination of volleyball players coincidentally shows up at his classroom for completely unrelated reasons.   
He wonders if they made a schedule for checking up on him, if he can find it posted somewhere in the clubroom.

Hinata, Kageyama and Yachi show up in his class unannounced the minute lunch begins.

"Tsukishimaaa!" Hinata is standing right next to his desk. Tsukishima winces at the shrill shout. "Help me with English! Please?"

"No." He doesn't even bother looking up from his food. 

"Come on, don't be like that Tsukki! It won't be a problem, Hinata." Tsukishima looks over to see Yamaguchi aiming a grin in his direction.   
Traitor.

"Hey! That's all you have to eat? I've got some extra food if you want it, look! My mom packed an extra bento box for me." Hinata waves a box wrapped with a cat cloth in Kei's face.

"No."

Kageyama shoves past Hinata, crumpling an empty milk box in his fist.

"Hey." Kageyama's stiff posture screams that he would rather be anywhere else than here. Yachi peeks around Kageyama and waves.

Tsukishima heaves a sigh. It's gonna be a long day.

~~~

They go to the principal's office after school.

Daichi-san and Sugawara-san insist on accompanying him. Once there, he lets them do most of the talking, only contributing the names of his assailants and what happened before the others arrive. They remain calm for the most part, only shooting him an outraged look when Kei reveals that nasty notes had been appearing in his club locker for a week or so before.   
This struck him as a bit of an overreaction. Honestly, it’s not like he couldn’t handle a few nasty comments. 

The principal accesses the security camera footage and records their names. His glazed eyes and listless expression do little to inspire confidence, in Tsukishima's opinion.

"Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I will be sure to meet with their parents to discuss this behavior." A phone buzzes. The man stops to check his messages. "It'll likely be a two week suspension and a mark on their permanent records." He types for a couple seconds, then stops to peer at them over his glasses. "Have a nice day."

A few moments pass before the boys realize this meeting is over.

"Thank you very much." Daichi-san bows and rises to leave, the other two following suit.

Tsukishima just wants to go home and forget about all of this. That's it then. A slap on the wrist, and a call home?

So much for reporting it to the adults.

~~~

That night, Kei sits in the doorway leading to the backyard.

"So what did Takeda-sensei or the coach have to say about this?" Akiteru turns from the basketball hoop to face Kei, volleyball tucked under one arm. His little brother sits slouched over and fiddles with his interlaced fingers.

"Does it matter? We already went to the principal." Kei looks up and catches the volleyball aimed at his head. His smirk is received with a dramatic sigh.

“What’s your plan then? They’ll only be more angry when they come back. Your team can’t be with you all the time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be longer, I promise. I'm still wrestling the ending into something I'm happy with!
> 
> Thank you again for all the kudos, comments and bookmarks! And for taking the time to read this in the first place <3


	5. Chapter 5

Two weeks speed past. 

Much to Kei's relief, the team eases up on their aggressive babysitting operation. The insufferable duo and Yachi-kun persistently show up every lunch period (because of course they have to, this does not bode well for the rest of his high school career), but the seniors only drop by his desk once every few days. 

There's still a prickle of unease on the back of his neck, and he can't help but pay more attention whenever he leaves practice with his new entourage. 

It's nothing. He'll be fine.

~~~

Tsukishima is a blocker.

Watching and waiting, ready to follow where the ball leads. His job is not to chase the satisfaction of a ball slamming to the ground, but rather to slowly and persistently make his presence felt. He's always been stubborn. Volleyball is no exception.

"Did you really think you could hide from us?" Kei stops and turns to face the ragged group bearing down on him. Great. Just what he needed.  
Taking a deep breath of the cool air, Tsukishima slips off his headphones and nods acknowledgement.

"Good morning, Tanimoto-san. How can I help you?" He throws the group a polite smile, which only widens at the sight of their clenched fists.

"You little brat! We've got some business to finish up. I don't think you learned your lesson." He cracks his knuckles and grins. "Are you going to hide behind your team like a coward again?" The second-year stalks up to sneer in Tsukishima's face. Behind him, the entire group shuffles closer. Kei stands his ground and stares back, icily impassive.   
His fingers shake minutely in his pockets. The urge to adjust his glasses is strong, but he doesn't dare to.  
The moment stretches impossibly long. 

Is this really the best idea? He needs to show that he's not intimidated by their bullying, otherwise they would never stop. On the other hand, he can't afford any injuries that might affect his play.   
Well, he'll wait and see what happens. If they won't leave-

"Oi! Tsukishima! Hurry and get over here, practice is about to start!" Hinata bounces around the side of the gym. Catching a glimpse of the little tableau in the courtyard, he screeches to a halt, nearly toppling over  
"H-hey! Get away from him!" Despite the tremble in his voice, Hinata sounds pissed. The other boys look at one another and begin to laugh.

"Or what, huh? You'll jump over us?" They guffaw some more, as Hinata turns beet red. It's not in embarrassment, though. He growls at them like the wild animal he is, arms stiff at his sides. 

"Hinata-kun." Kei smirks at him. "Don't be stupid. This is none of your business. No need to get all riled up, I'll be at practice soon." Hinata turns his glare onto Tsukishima’s unruffled face.  
“No. You're the one being stupid, if you think I'll just ignore what's happening!"  
Kei knows it’s pointless to argue against that relentless expression. Right now, Hinata is a force of nature, and nothing will stand in his way. “Tsukishima-kun, let’s go to practice. Forget about them. The senpai will deal with them later.”

“Huh?” Hinata wasn’t yelling? He wasn’t rushing in without a second thought?   
Kei looks at the second-years, mouths open in dumbstruck affront. Of course. Like he’d told them earlier, these guys weren’t worth wasting his time on. A derisive laugh bubbles up and a smile tugs the corners of his mouth up. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re right for once, Hinata. Let’s go.”

~~~

"Ah, Tsukishima-kun?" Takeda-sensei beckons Kei over to him. Individual practice time has just begun, and no one pays them any mind. "Could you come here for a second? There's something I would like to discuss with you." 

Tsukishima looks up from re-tying his shoelaces against the wall.   
Takeda-sensei sporting an unusually serious expression, requesting a private talk? This must be about the annoying second-years. “Yes, sir,” Kei says. Between the flying volleyballs and volleyball players, he catches a glimpse of Daichi-san standing on the other side of the gym, watching them with a satisfied smile. It isn’t difficult to guess who snitched.

"As I'm sure you know by now, the boys that bothered you are now back at school. Hinata-kun informed me that some of them are still bothering you." Takeda-sensei offers Tsukishima a notebook and pen. "May I have the names of these students? I would like to contact their parents myself." Judging by the steely glint in Takeda-sensei's eyes, those unfortunate parents were about to be victims of the volleyball advisor's particular brand of cheerful harassment.

"Yes," Kei says, accepting the paper and pen, "although there were one or two I don't quite remember." His admission is met with a patient smile.

"That's plenty. Thank you, Tsukishima-kun."

~~~

The next day, all conversation stops as he and Yamaguchi step into the classroom. He spots the group of bullies huddled together near the front, staring at the door in anticipation of his arrival. Despite being large guys, they seem strangely diminished. The likely cause of this is the presence of Sugawara-san and Sawamura-san, who radiate malice.

A dozen different options race through his head. He could execute a hasty retreat, and skip the whole day or come back in an hour or so. But that would only lead to further trouble down the road, drawing the ire of his mom and teachers and maybe even teammates. He would hate to miss class as well. He does have learning to do, after all.   
And it would feel dangerously close to conceding defeat.

He could simply ignore them and head to his seat without a second glance. But his first glance had convinced him of their determination to engage him in some public display of humiliation or contrition. That would never work.  
Behind him, Yamaguchi remains still, allowing him to decide what he wants to do.

Well. It seems that his only choice is to take the initiative.

"Good morning," he says, careful to keep his expression neutral, "what can I do for you?"   
Sugawara-san grins and walks over to clap him on the shoulder.   
"Tsukishima-kun, good morning! We're sorry to be a bother, but after we had a nice chat these guys really wanted to properly apologize to you! Isn't that nice?" Those last words are directed at the pathetic huddle, some of whom make an attempt at nodding agreement. Daichi-san nods as well, a satisfied tilt to his expression.  
“Just to clear up any further misunderstanding,” the captain says.

". . . I see."

~~~

This is how it ends:

He finds a note in his locker.

Actually, he finds a lot of notes in his locker. They cascade onto the ground as he reaches in to grab his stuff, and for a few moments all he can do is stare. It’s only when the silence is broken by Yamaguchi trying and failing to stifle a giggle does he sigh, bend down and pick them up. 

His best efforts to ignore the scrawled messages prove to be useless against his overwhelming curiosity.

I’m lucky to have a friend like you! The next shortcake is on me. -Yamaguchi

TSUKISHIMA!! You’re really smart and awesome and cool! You go all like “BLAM!” and “THUNK!” and it makes me SUPER JEALOUS!!!! -Hinata

You’re decent at blocking. -Kageyama

We may not always act like it, but we’re proud to have you on our team. -Asahi

All the upperclassmen have noticed how hard you’ve been working the last few weeks, and we really appreciate it. Keep up the good work! -Sawamura

His cheeks heat up, and suddenly Kei is grateful that Yamaguchi is the only witness. 

“Did everyone write one?” The papers crinkle against his hand as he gathers them into a tidy stack. “Was this some kind of mandatory team-bonding exercise? I don’t need their pity.”

“No, this is something everyone wanted to do!” Yamaguchi sits to change into his volleyball shoes, an irrepressible smile still lurking behind his earnest expression. “Sugawara-san suggested it since he said they were leaving nasty notes in your locker, and we all wanted to do something.”

Tsukishima studies the stack of notes in his hand. 

The gesture was sweet, but ultimately not worth much. Could he really believe that these notes were motivated by anything besides pity, that they had written what they truly thought of him? Of course the team would worry about Tsukishima and want to cheer him up. What easier way to do that then tell him the things that he would want to hear rather than the ugly truth?

Words are cheap. It’s easy for anyone to spin a web of beautiful lies, of things they wanted to be true so badly that they almost believed it themselves. He knows this.

But at the same time, could he really say that words were all they had given him?   
He would have to be blind to miss the way everyone had tried to protect him. And even though he doesn’t understand why they would go so far for him, that doesn’t change the fact that they seem to care.

So even though he’s trying his best not to be swayed, his chest feels full and his entire body oddly light as their words ring in his ears.   
Even though he knows all this, Tsukishima finds himself stuffing the entire stack into his bag. 

~~~

The familiar noise of raucous squawks and slamming balls greets him and Yamaguchi as they step into the gym. It's a little terrifying, how comforting that sound has become. 

I really am a fool, he thinks, but at least I’m not the only one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, as well as all the kudos, comments and bookmarks. I hope you enjoyed!


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